I feel really happy tonight, and I thought I'd bring it up in a nice post. It may seem like something..Unhappy, but I promise. It gets better.

I'm a messed up human being, sometimes.
I'm two-faced, obsessive, jealous, impatient and something a lot of people would think is immature, annoying.

But it's just times like this, I like to just sit back, and feel happy. Just kind of let go, y'know?

I could think about the things that hurt me, but I still feel happy. The things I'm jealous of, then, yeah. They don't seem to affect me.

One thing that bothers me, though. I can't help it. I was...I don't know.

This whole year, I don't think...I ever felt so lonely. Most of the year, I could just sit there with a messenger going, and no one would dare say a thing to me. I was never someone anyone wanted to share what made them happy or sad with. And I'd tag along, attempting to grab the hands of those I really wanted to be accepted by, only for me to stumble and fall.

I never felt so..Unwanted. Rejected. Then I kind of felt that my friends who already proved they loved me several times.. I began thinking things along the lines of "If I vanished, they wouldn't miss me because they have each other."

I'm beginning to realizing I'm rather socially awkward, but if I realize it in time, I can fix that, right? People just call it shy, but I really just don't know what to say.

I was a dork.

Jesus, I was. -shakes head-


I'm hoping this year people will take me a bit more seriously. I want to come off as a happy person, I really do. Not a loner, kid, someone everyone looks down on.

I need to post more, even though these aren't read anyway.
Good night!

I never post in this anymore! I'm sorry. -bows-
I think the only thing I can say about all of this time I've been gone...To sum it up.

My aunt moved in.
School's out.

I wish money wasn't something to ever worry about.

I would have posted yesterday, but I was way too tired. xP;

Friday I stayed over at Natasha's after school, we played DDR, watched videos, etc. We ate spaghetti and nachos but I had to leave early, since we were going to Donna's to hang out with everyone before they all went home. We played Trivia Pursuit, which I failed at since I haven't been around as long as everyone else. xD I got the question, "WHAT DOES IMO MEAN IN INTERNET LANGUAGE."... In my opinion. xDD


BUUUT. Yesterday was one of the busiest Saturday's I've had since Christmas Break. Haha, seriously. I woke up at 11, got ready, etc. And Gin picked me up to go to the mall with him, Audrey, and Kelsey. We had some silly string, and we'd spray it out the window while Gin drived, but we weren't being completely wreckless. We made sure there weren't any cars behind or beside us that we'd put in danger. xD While we did this, we had Wichita's Latino station playing really loud. People around us stared at us. xDD It didn't help that Gin had like, "HONK IF YOU LIKE SILENT HILL" and "OH DEAR WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME. -pyramid head next to it-" all over his windows.
We wandered around the mall, and I was supposed to be looking for Nikie's birthday present for her party later that day. It was amazing, haha. I got Nikie this bag that was like, "Times are rough, Times are Tuff, Here's your fskcing birthday stuff." and I got her a bullshit button that made comments when you pushed it. Kelsey bought me ice cream, and we wandered around until we went to Hot Topic, and we both split the cost and a package of two pink hair extensions. We went and bought some candy, We are some of it, and gave the rest to Nikie for her birthday, haha.

After stopping at Candiopolis, we took a seat next to one of the entrances to the mall, and played with the flarp Audrey brought along, and got weird looks. I kept pushing the bullshit button too, and eventually a security guard asked us to pick up our bags and go sit on the bench instead of on the ground, we just got up and left instead. D8; As we walked by the calander section, the same security guard was there and she was like, "YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO COME IN HERE AND SIT." and were just like..."...okay?" We weren't planning on it...xDD While we went through Dillards to the second time, Audrey and Gin kept arguing over who won the best for who would get the most posts on the AFW forums. Haha.
It was so piercing cold yesterday though, so we ran to the car. xD

Gin drove us to Kelsey's, where we proceeded to write on the windows of her car with the window paint that was used on Gin's car. I drew the AWESOME face on the left back window.

Gin eventually took Audrey home, and I stole some of Kelsey's tissue paper to put into Nikie's bag. And managed to break Kelsey's canister thing full of vitimins because I wanted one. xDD I didn't mean to! D:

We went to Nikie's party after that, we lost track of time so we got there about 45 minutes late DD:'' I helped Kelsey pack to stay the night at my house later. We ate enchiladas and played poker, which I seriously sucked at. As nerdy as it sounds, if it isn't a trading card game, I can't grasp it. LOL We went downstairs and played Shadow of the Collosius? I think it was, and watched things on YouTube, since a normal party with us usually consists of watching YouTube videos at one point, and then we played Rock Band.

I love this series of Videos. xDD


But yeah! After playing Rock Band for a little bit, me and Kelsey had to get going, because we had this rave to go to at 9, and we still needed to stop at my house so I could grab a white t-shirt. We stopped by, but when we left, we realized a couple blocks away from my house we needed six dollars for enterance fee to the rave. Me and Kelsey like, matched, I wore my Mario hat and she wore Luigi. xDD And we had the white t-shirts, jeans, and our pink hair extensions. We were prepared for an awkward time, neither of us Christians, but at a rave being held by a church.

As we entered, we saw our friend Riley, who paid for our entrance fees, which was really nice of him.  We didn't see him too much after that, though, which made me feel a little bad. We walked in and saw a mediocre band playing in the main dance room, so we kind of left LOL We got mountain dews and went to play guitar hero for a little bit, and then pool. Where Riley completely ruined our game by randomly joining in. xDD
We went back into the dance room after a while, after getting a bunch of complements on our hats. We were getting enough glares to counter the complements though.  It was a lot of fun after we made it back to the front of the rave, next to the DJ.  The DJ saw us and handed us some glow sticks he was throwing into the crowd to catch. Haha. People were getting a lot more friendlier, since they knew that everyone was dancing and crashing into each other. We were jumping and holding our glow sticks in the air, and 'dancing' xDD Kelsey left for a minute though, and I found another glowstick on the ground. This guy was like "OMG Did you find that on the ground?" it wasn't him, but he was jealous. I handed it to him and he gave me this extremely grateful look and was like "...omg thank you!" and he stuck around me for a while, haha. We also saw Wesley, and eventually it started to end, and it was 11.

I'll finish writing later, the X-men premiere is on! xDD

I swear. Going back to school, and all. I haven't felt like writing much. Sorry.

My baby niece Jasey May was born, Annaliese's 2nd birthday. Jasey May looked a lot like Anna when she was born, but now she's opened her eyes and looks...Like Jasey.
Annaliese's 2nd birthday party, we went to Don and Donna's and had cake and ice cream. I didn't think it would be the last time I'd get to see and talk to Don, since he passed away Thursday night. He was fine Saturday night, so it was pretty upsetting. ): I don't really want to talk a whole lot about it though. The funeral's tomorrow..I'm not looking forward to it. I know I'll cry.
My brother got laid of from his job at Circuit City, since Circuit City is no more.
My uncle's mom Irene passed away at 12:00 this morning. It's kind of sad, too..
Everyone's dying. It's sad.
Everything my brother's been through the past few weeks makes me want to cry. I love my brother so much.

I got to hang out with Gin, Audrey and Kelsey earlier. I spent most of today hanging out with my aunt Judi and Audrey, it was so fun, though. Definately a fresh air from everything.

I helped another person, B-Chan, in the show fix the sound on their computer for the show LOL By just telling them to clear their cache. I felt proud..And awesome. And ashamed for being so proud. but, yeah, I talked to B.Chan a lot and we got to talking about "Is Kanda an acceptable Superhero?" "How about Nekozawa!?" And then Peter points out he had a bunch of people from AFW in and encouraged us to call in and tell him about super heroes we love in Anime. I was super scared but I was talking into calling, haha. x3  I was really twitchy and scratchy and odd voice wise, but I'm glad I did it, when he asked who my favorite superhero was, I tried to think clearly but I couldn't get any other ideas but Gintoki. -fails- I was like "WELL HE RUNS ODD JOBS WITH THREE OTHER PEOPLE, AND HE DOESNT TAKE THINGS SERIOUS BUT HE DOES AT THE SAME TIME, AND HE REALLY HELPS PEOPLE EVEN IF HE DOESN'T KNOW THEM." and it was .. pretty sad. LOL I hope next time I can do a better job! But everyone was like "YAY ABBIE LEE DID IT" But it was definately awesome, Peter was really excited and I was too to be the first caller on his show.

I didn't realize a couple of things though until they mentioned it, Guys are found on the streets a lot more than women, and they said a number of people of people found on the streets of Wichita, which really surprised me. I hope in the future when I have more time I can help them out in other ways than watching the show and contributing my opinions.

My parents have been arguing all day...It's really unnerving, hearing my dad constantly yelling.
It's over working on the floors, I haven't bothered to go up there because I really don't want to deal with it, and plus, that might end up pulling me in the middle, too...


Ugh, not the way I wanted to spend the last day of my break, cooped up in the basement. I did pick up Outer Heaven finally and throw it away since I accidentally knocked it over.

I woke up really late today too..2:30...I hope that doesn't screw me over tomorrow and tonight since I might not be able to sleep...It's okay though, since it's the first day back and all, I'm sure they aren't expecting too much of everyone.

I'll keep today's entry short and simple.. .___.;

And...I just finished a Gaia banner... ^^

( Click here for drawings~ <3 )

it's not my fault it almost killed raiden. With my amount of tags this post.


This is my foretress. 8D

I can't believe it's 2009.

I think I'll start this entry out with my resolutions before I talk about the wonderful party.

1. I really want to lose some weight and get back into shape. I really need it. >>;; Starting this week I'll begin dieting. Besides, no one likes chubby cosplayers.

2. I want to beat some of the games I have but never got around to finishing. The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask for example. I need to restart it and play through it, since it's a hard game. xP

3. Get a job so I can have some money to spend on the things I usually bug my parents for.

It's not quite a resolution since cars freak me out, but I kind of want to start working on getting my liscense, too.
I hope not to break these right away...;_;'



Well, the party now. :3 I was worried, but my parents said we were very very well behaved. This means ANOTHER PARTY SOMETIME! xD

Sierra arrived first, then Natasha, Nikie, and Audrey piled out of their Natasha's grandpa's car, Shannon, Chelsea Miller second, then Kelsey.
Shannon gave us our gifts from Egypt, I got a pretty bookmark and this keychain like thing I need to figure out how to put together.

We started the party mostly though just kind of sitting around and playing with party favors Natasha brought and munching on her blue cookies the brought until Audrey tried to help me play Silent Hill 2, which I failed at and probably need to start over, and then we all gathered and played the Bleach wii game, which was hilarious. I kept kicking ass with Hitsugaya. Kelsey arrived and then we ate food. Lots of food. Molli and I kept texting back and forth most the night, too..lmao. She was originally going to come but she ended up going to Texas.

It was hilarious too, we started working on a sequel to our TERRIBLY HATED CRACK ADDICT VIDEO our group made in 7th grade. Here it is. LOL

Feel free to spread the hate, btw.

 

After the video, we started watching Saw I, I was playing TWEWY while watching it, getting past the part I was stuck on.  The first Saw movie wasn't as bad as the ones that come after it, I think. Lmao. After Saw we played Rock Band II, well, I passed, since I wasn't too keen on the song list they had for that game. We played that until Midnight, before we all ran outside to celebrate with our noisemakers and such. We counted down until 12:00, and the adults were starting to come out too, but when 12 came, we all shouted out new years resolutions, except Sierra, who's naturally very quiet LOL, and went back inside after we got home, to resume playing Rock Band, only it was the first one. xP While we played rockband, Audrey found this freakin' amazing site, or Micky found it and sent it to Audrey. http://en.akinator.com/ ? It tries to guess what character you're thinking of, just like that handheld game 20 questions I was amazed when it guessed Sakata Gintoki from Gintama, since that's not exactly the most popular show on the block. It had Takasugi as well....Oh my. D8 And Jun Ushiro from Bokurano, which is even more amazing. Although it never could guess Elizabeth or Lucrecia Crescent from Final Fantasy VII.


Sierra had to leave at 12:30, and after that we kind of just played around like a giant lan party LOL. We played on Gaia towns for a little bit, haha. Then me and Natasha watched the Zombrow episode of Gintama for fun, the Yugioh abridged series, and kept making eyebrow jokes. We also watched the most goriest/disturbing scenes of Higurashi. That is such a good show. xDD Everyone started wearing down so we did a combination of Dating Games on YouTube and the internet generator of Truth Or Dare.

I fell asleep when we started watching Donnie Darko though, but it's a really good movie.

Overall, I had a rather nice new years. xP <3 I just need to get some shut-eye though, i'm exhuasted.
 

I have all my stuff ready for my New Year's party. x3 Except me and my mom still need to cook the food and etc.
My room's the cleanest it's been in months, I swear. Rofl D8 I usually keep it rather clean but I scrubbed the tables and electronics and stuff, there's probably no dust in my room now.  And my mom bought me a nice little trash bin for my room, so we don't have to shove all our trash into a plastic bag hung on the back of my door LOL The entire house looks very nice, and my dad let me open my windows up, so it feels really nice, looks really nice, and smells very nice.

As well as picking up the house, I made my desktop look rather nice despite the horrible Yuugiou/Yu-Gi-Oh! phase I'm going through right now.

My brother brought over rock band for the Wii, and most of the equipment for it, since everyone usually loves a good game of rock band. One thing I'm kind of dissipointed in myself for not doing is getting all the characters in Bleach: Shattered Blade for the Wii, I really wanted Ulquoirra but I didn't get him in time, Micky said it took her awhile so I kind of gave up LOL

There's like, 7 people coming, which is a lot. That many people was kind of an accident, but the more the merrier, right? My parents were kind of iffed about it, but they accepted it pretty well, I felt really bad putting that on them though, but it's all good. ><;;


Annaliese is upstairs having some down-time, I offered to watch her for Michelle until 5:30ish. xP I hope she wants to play soon, I'm bored now that the cleaning is all done. I assume I'll be doing a lot of babysitting tonight, since my brother pretty much plans on getting smashed with everclear apple cider, and my parents will probably join in too, or my dad at least. xDD There's also the possibility that we have a New Years baby too, with Michelle being pregnant again and it being due very shortly, It was supposed to be the 27th, but she's ready feeling signs that it could be here any moment now, and she has had 3 before, so I'm going to go ahead and trust her word. xD

Well, I was posting here to rid some boredom, and it worked, but I think I'll end it and go roam around the house a little. Seeya!